To Those Who Have Lost

Today for so many is just a normal Sunday, but for our family it marks year two of when our son went to be with our Savior. It really is no easier this year than the last. The roller coaster of emotions and memories of that time still seem to dwell and be overwhelming at times. Yes, we gain strength in our Father and each other, but there is still a void in our lives. Yearning for one more moment, one more smile, one more laugh from our little guy. I see our other three kids growing up before our eyes, and can't help but want to see him running around the house chasing after his brothers and sister. I can't tell you that time alone heals wounds. However, I can say that through God's strength, His love, and His comfort along with time eventually does bring a peace and understanding that gives you a focus of things that are truly important in life. Especially on a day like today when God again reminds me that life is fragile. That as a husband and a father, I can't take for granted the precious moments that God gives me to teach, to love, and raise up my family that is still on this earth to be Christ centered and Christ focused.

If there was something that I could say to others that have lost loved ones. I would say to stay on course. Cling to Christ like never before. There you will find your strength. There is your comfort, and there is your peace. Allow this moment to be a reminder that you still have unfinished business here on earth. Above all else, live as if today is your last because you above any one else now know that life is fragile.

1 Peter 1:6-7
"So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure
many trials for a little while. These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world."

More than tradition

Imagine with me for a minute that it is Christmas Day. In the living room the Christmas tree is covered in lights and ornaments. Presents are encompassing the tree all around its base. There is a fire going in the fire place that gives off a gentle crackle and soft roar that warms the living room. Your family begins to congregate into the living room, kids running everywhere, and the parents finally get everyone to sit down where ever they can find a spot. The head of the house walks into the room, and sits down in an old wooden rocking chair. He settles into the chair, and puts in his lap an old and weathered Bible. The pages are paper thin, and the glue is barely keeping the pages intact. He opens up the book, and begins reading these verses:

“And it came to pass in those days that a decree went out from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be registered. This census first took place while Quirinius was governing Syria. So all went to be registered, everyone to his own city. Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judea, to the city of David, which is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and lineage of David, to be registered with Mary, his betrothed wife, who was with child. So it was, that while they were there, the days were completed for her to be delivered. And she brought forth her firstborn Son, and wrapped Him in swaddling cloths, and laid Him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn. Now there were in the same country shepherds living out in the fields, keeping watch over their flock by night. And behold, an angel of the Lord stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were greatly afraid. Then the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which will be to all people. For there is born to you this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. And this will be the sign to you: You will find a Babe wrapped in swaddling cloths, lying in a manger.” And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying: “Glory to God in the highest, And on earth peace, goodwill toward men!” So it was, when the angels had gone away from them into heaven, that the shepherds said to one another, “Let us now go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has come to pass, which the Lord has made known to us.” And they came with haste and found Mary and Joseph, and the Babe lying in a manger. Now when they had seen Him, they made widely known the saying which was told them concerning this Child. And all those who heard it marveled at those things which were told them by the shepherds. But Mary kept all these things and pondered them in her heart. Then the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things that they had heard and seen, as it was told them.”

After he finishes reading, he closes the Bible, looks up and around at his family. With a smile on his face, says, “Let’s bow our heads and pray.” He begins to thank his Savior for another great year that he got to spend with his family, and thanking God for revealing Himself throughout the year. He will stumble through some parts of the prayer, holding back a few tears, remembering this last year’s memories and those that have gone before us. As he says “amen” the family looks up, smiles on their faces, resonating in the fact of getting to spend another year with their family at Christmas time.

This has been our family tradition ever since I can remember. It is moments like these that resonate, and bring great memories of my upbringing and family. It was something that we did every year to reflect on the real reason of Christmas before we open presents as a family. It wasn't until I started to dwell on these words from Deuteronomy that I began to see things differently.

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.”

Deuteronomy 6:5-7

Our Christmas moments aren’t a tradition at all, they were a pattern. As I look back on my childhood, I see time and time again moments when my parents impressed upon me the love of their Father, and now my Father as well. It just wasn’t single events each year, but moment after moment that they would instill “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and strength.” It is those moments that I am so thankful for, and now that I am a parent, I can only hope that I impress these words onto my kids. That our lives are not lived out because of tradition, but are focused solely on a pattern of impressing the words of our Father to love Him with all our heart, soul, and mind.

Life Lessons

I have decided that the Fall season may be my favorite time of the year. The Fall weather just brings out that cozy family feeling. The temperature starts to cool off, wood burning in the fire place, and of course the rampant family holiday visitation. For me, “comfort” seems to define the feeling best. There is just something about fall weather that brings those feelings out. Last week, we went to visit my family in Texas. While we were there, Kimberly and I decided to give our kids a new experience, so we built a campfire, roasted some marshmallows, and attempted to sleep in a tent. We didn’t quite make it through the night with a 3, 6, and 10 year old in a tent, but it was worth the try and I think they enjoyed it. Even though we didn’t make it through the night, it was in those few moments that life just seemed to slow down. All of us relaxing around a warm and cozy campfire, roasting marshmallows, the busyness of the city was left behind, and the quiet tranquility of country living took over.

Spending times with our kids in that setting brought back a lot of family memories. You see, this October was the one year anniversary for when we lost our Grandpa. I know most of you don’t know him, but he was an amazing man. His stories alone were packed full of wisdom and tidbits of the way things used to be when he was growing up, his military life, raising a household of all girls on a dairy farm, being self employed, and running your own farm. He always had the best hunting stories, the best farming stories, and the best life lessons. Some of my favorites were when he would talk about being in the military, and having to hitchhike back from the farm in Texas to his base in Neosho, MO. He would talk about how wearing a military uniform meant something then, and he never had a problem making it back to his base with that uniform on him. Or he would talk about when my Mom was little and had her first BB gun. She got mad at his birddog for chasing away her rabbit that she was trying to get, so she pelted his birddog with BBs instead. I miss him and his great stories everyday, and know that he still would be telling me some amazing new stories if he were still around.

I had the honor to speak at his memorial service, and recently I was reading back over my notes. It was just a way to remember him, what he stood for, and what all he has done for me. There are so many things that I would love to tell you about him, his stories, and what we did together growing up. To be honest, it wasn’t his stories that made the biggest impression on me, it was his actions.

Here is a man that made a living on the hay he could harvest, the livestock he raised, and the vegetables he grew. If he didn’t fix what was broke, plow and harvest when needed, or take care of the animals; his lively hood and finances would crumble. Life hung in the balance of what he could get accomplished day in and day out. I have never seen a man more driven to succeed, work harder than men half his age, and never give up. Even well into his 80s he was fixing fence, working on farm equipment, hauling hay, and fixing whatever else broke around the house. That being said, there was nothing that took greater priority than spending time with me or anyone else that came over to their house. Without fail, he would always stop what he was doing, and go visit with you. It didn’t matter what time of day or what job he had to get finished around the farm. If he knew you were there, he would come see you. That was what he was like ever since I was a little kid. I can’t tell you how many times Nanny, my Grandma, would say, “Oh Grandpa probably doesn’t know you are here. He is probably out at the barn.” Just like clockwork, as soon as he caught eye of you, he would drop everything, and spend time with you. I know he didn’t have to do it, but it was his way of saying “you are important, you are special, and you mean something to me.” I can’t tell you how much I loved that about him.

When we were younger, it was always special to be able to spend the night at Nanny and Grandpa’s. Especially during the Fall and Winter months because that meant Grandpa would be getting up early to go feed the cows. I remember it still being dark outside, he would walk into the room, and wake us up to go “help feed”. We would crawl up into the pickup truck, and be gone for a couple of hours to take hay and feed cubes to the cows. That wasn’t the only time he would take us with him though. I can remember him taking us hunting, in the tractor to plow, letting us “help” with a project around the farm, and the best was him taking us to the sell barn. It was the best because it was almost an all day trip, and we would always go to his favorite Grandy’s restaurant where they would always bring around extra rolls to the customers. It was always a lot of fun spending extra time with Grandpa, and he knew it. I know for a fact that we slowed him down, he didn’t always get everything accomplished for the day, and we caused more harm than good. I can think of a more than a couple separate occasions where one of us broke a few things too. Yet through all of those years and memories, I don’t remember a single complaint out of him. I just remember him being willing to let us tag along, and spend some quality time with our Grandpa.

Grandpa showed so many moments of compassion for his friends and family, but the biggest and most important moments came when I saw him sit in that little country church. He would crack open a hymnal, and sing songs of praise, thankfulness, and gratitude to his Savior. You had to be sitting literally right next to him to be able to hear him, but there was no doubt you could see the compassion on his face and the passion in his voice. It was that compassion that filtered over to show others that a job is never more important than friends and family, and the importance and value of investing in the next generation so that they can continue the same legacy.